In today’s Room for Debate (Opinion) section of the New York Times, the Editors ask three Russian experts the following question:
In his first summit meeting with the Russians, is it important for President Obama to develop a personal bond with President Dmitri A. Medvedev? Such ties between the leaders of the United States and Russia (or the old Soviet Union) are always said to be important, but historically has this emphasis helped or hurt American interests?
While I am not an officially recognized “Russia expert” (never use the term “Russia Hand.” Much too gauche), I do live here in Russia, and I do have a blog, so I thought….. heck, let me give it a shot. Here’s my answer, which is a slightly expanded version of the one I left in the Comments section of the article itself:
While there is nothing inherently negative about our leaders forming a personal bond, there are some fundamental differences in culture that should be kept in mind.
As an American who lives in Russia, it always strikes me as curious the insatiable need we Americans have to be “liked” by others, even complete strangers.
Americans, when meeting someone for the first time, will seek to establish a personal bond. Whether it’s engaging a store clerk in small talk or asking a waiter about himself when out at a restaurant.
We Americans have perfected this cultural “dance” and hence, the whole question of “Personal Diplomacy” is a very American one.
Russians are completely different. My wife, who is Russian, or my Russian friends here in Krasnodar would never dream of asking a waiter, who is a complete stranger, about himself nor do they feel obliged to make small talk with people they don’t know.
Russians care much more about being respected personally than being liked. Ironically, Russians see it actually as a sign of disrespect (a personal intrusion) to engage a complete stranger in chit chat about nothingness.
Russians also believe that a person who smiles at another for no apparent reason must have some kind of mental disorder.
Therefore, during this trip to Moscow, President Obama should focus much more on engaging the Russian leadership in serious discussions about important issues. The Russians have been pulling their hair out over the past 8 years as they tried in vain to engage Bush in a serious dialogue about issues such as how to deal with breakaway regions which want to declare their independence (e.g. Kosovo, South Ossetia, etc.).
The fact that Bush invited Putin to Kennebunkport, Maine to a lobster bake mattered little to Mr. Putin since the gesture was one of etiquette not respect. Perhaps Bush’s Russian “experts” advised him on the fact that to invite a Russian into one’s home is seen as a sign of respect. However, unsurprisingly they equated respect with friendship using their American cultural framework. For Russians, friendship and respect are very different. Respect in Russia is much more closely related to power than with backslapping and sharing a few brewskies.
So, while personal diplomacy may be interesting for all of us on the sidelines, in much the same way that celebrity gossip is titillating, at the end of the day I would rather that our leaders gain a measure of respect for each other through some serious private and substantive discussions. There are too many serious issues facing the world for them to simply exchange dossiers, smile, and share a few laughs.
